I have approximate knowledge of many things
The Exposition Song
(via bartonesque)
I don’t Know where I have collected these from, but they are just wonderful!
(via myladymother)
(via bartonesque)
How To Love Teen Wolf
An Official Guide in 15 Inevitable Steps
by Jamie Jew (aka ponfarrisforwerewolves)Step 1:
Purchase a handle of bourbon*
Step 2:
Wake up around 10 AM and resign yourself to being a person in your mid-twenties having a hobby that surrounds itself around horrible CGI and werewolves. Then curse MTV for bringing this to you (and because they’re also the ones who told you that your vote matters and that Avril Lavigne was cool.)Step 3:
10:30 AM. Begin drinking.Step 4:
Roll your eyes a lot about how you will never love this show and how stupid everyone around you is for loving it.Step 5:
Drink more.Step 6:
5 PM. Start where you left off in the episode.Step 7:
Try to ship Derek/Stiles, feel confused. Take two shots.
Step 8:
Have what I like to call THE FUCKING MOMENT (where sadly, no fucking actually happens. sigh.) Begin shipping Derek/Stiles. Feel confused because you’re experiencing emotion. Shrug it off, drink more, blame the bourbon.Step 9:
Realize you have either fast forwarded through all scenes containing Scott and Allison or have drank yourself blind at this point. Blog about this.Step 10:
Hydrate as you reflect on your life.Step 11:
Feel choked up about Derek Hale. Drink more.Step 12:
Finish the season. Sit in drunken silence for a few minutes.Step 13:
Secretly look up Derek/Stiles fic.Step 14:
Experience more emotion. Blog this and blame everyone around you. Realize you can ship Allison/Lydia and that this headcanon is beautiful. (I recommend this fic as a nice starting point.) Hate your friends a little less because sweet and endearing badass lesbians warm your heart. (or other things.)Step 15:
You’re Pack now. Take up day drinking, surrender all dignity, pass out in your best dress with lipstick smeared across your tearstained face.*or vodka, three boxes of wine, tequila, etc.
The greatest love story the world has ever known.
(via mynameisbloo)
well if it a zombie apocalypse then
We take Pete’s car, we drive over to Mum’s, we go in, take care of Philip ,grab Mum, go to Liz’s, pick her up, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.
(via handchuffed)
- stannis baratheon spent his life trying to be more noble than his gross brother and his reward was jon arryn trying to send the repulsive sweetrobin to dragonstone to foster
- one time stannis baratheon went to a whorehouse to see robert’s baby and was like ‘oh this bastard child is so cute and not covered in grey rotting facial scales like my baby was’
- literally the best thing that has ever happened to stannis baratheon was meeting an evil vagina monster
- once when he asked robert why he didn’t get to rule storm’s end, robert just looked at him and laughed and laughed and laughed until his face was covered in robert-spit and then they just sort of ate dinner in silence
- the only song sung about stannis baratheon is an allegorical ballad about a grumpy lobster with no friends
- stannis is often woken in the middle of the night by patchface sliding under the covers to croon a sad sad song into his ear
- there is room under the covers because selyse has not slept in stannis’s bed in years
- this one time walder frey was desperately looking for a girl to marry off one of his kids to and he looked at shireen and was like ‘noooooope, not good enough’
- back when they were young strapping lads, renly got more pussy than stannis did
- and the saddest fact of all: stannis baratheon’s only friend is davos seaworth
(via alaynestone)
Protip for dudes out there: If a uterus-bearer in your life asks for ibuprofen for cramps, the proper response is not “ewwwww.” Really, not saying anything & just handing over the pills will suffice.
ATTACK OF THE GIANT CAT HEAD
SISTER, IT IS BETTER THAT YOU SHOULD RUSH UPON THAT BLADE THAN ENTER THE CIRCLE WITH FEAR IN YOUR HEART.
HOW DO YOU ENTER?
With perfect love and perfect trust.
GOOD. WELCOME TO OUR COVEN. ONLY A COUPLE OF GROUND RULES:
1. NO TAKING INTO YOURSELF ALL THE POWER OF MANON. WE HAD SOME TROUBLE WITH THAT A FEW YEARS AGO.
2. YOU CAN’T WEAR A TANK TOP TWO DAYS IN A ROW, AND YOU CAN ONLY WEAR YOUR HAIR IN A PONYTAIL ONCE A WEEK.
3. ON WEDNESDAYS WE WEAR PINK.
BLESSED BE.
